Of Dreams and Wishes
by itsclowreedsfault
Summary: Drabbles and one-shots written for some prompts from Tsubasa Chronicle Month on Tumblr.
1. Prompt: Fai Flourite

He isn't Fai.

That's what everyone calls him and how everyone thinks of him, but it's a borrowed name, just like the life he's living. After all these years his body responds naturally to the lie, turning his head when people call his _(brother's)_ name and smiling while he introduces himself with those three letters. But every single time, a bitter taste remains on his tongue.

He isn't Fai, but he can't say he's Yuui either; Yuui died on that valley too. He keeps on living a life that's not supposed to be his, never letting anyone get too close, hiding _(from the truth)_ behind jokes and laughter and smiles. He is almost happy in Celes, but whenever his fake act starts becoming a bit too real he reminds himself that this happiness is not his to have. He's merely waiting until he can give this life and name back to the one he took it from.

The moment to start his journey is brought on by the most unexpected of reasons, and he leaves Celes with Ashura-ou betrayal's and their last confrontation weighing his heart _(is this his fault again?)_. Like the man who warned him of this journey said, he is joined by three more people, and they set out to travel across dimensions in search of the feathers.

The lies he's so used to telling keep falling from his lips, but it's more difficult this time. The kids are not what he expected - they are kind and loving and care about him _(they don't know the truth)_ , and sometimes he catches himself wishing he could be the good person they seem to think he is. And then there's Kurogane, who sees through his act and makes him feel so exposed. It scares him, because he can't afford to be vulnerable when the time comes and he has to kill this man.

He tries his best to stay away from all of them, he really does. But his mask is slipping and he worries about the kids' welfare and he gets an ache in his chest whenever he thinks about Kurogane. He _wants_ this to be his life, to love these people and be loved by them, to forget that he's _not really Fai_. The name doesn't feel wrong when the kids or Mokona say it. Even if Kurogane never refers to him by name, he does tell him that his past doesn't matter and wouldn't it be great if he could just believe that? _(he's so selfish.)_

He can never have this, though, because his past is always there, and it finally catches up with him. He's back in Celes and the truth is right there in front of his - of their - eyes. He feels the almost-life he had slipping through his fingers, the guilt and shame weighing on his shoulders, and waits for their hate to turn his way.

Except it doesn't.

Things happen in a blur; he finds out there were more lies in his life than the ones he told himself, but he can't worry about that when the ones he loves _(there's no use denying it now)_ are being hurt. He should live until he can give Fai his life back, but he can't lose these people either, so he unleashes his magic with a mix of desperation and regret.

He's useless against Ashura-ou's power, though, and it's Kurogane who ends it all. Before he can process what's happened, he learns the truth - the full, unvarnished truth - and it's relieving _(he's not a murderer)_ but it also hurts, and as Fai's body fades he can't help the tears that fall _(he's so sorry)_. Fai is free now, but where does that leave _him_?

It isn't until they are in Nihon that he has time to think about it. His entire life he forced himself to stay away from things he couldn't have - friends, happiness, love. But they found a way into his life anyway, in the form of those kids - clones or not, he loved all of them dearly -, a tiny magical creature, and a man who gave him more than he'd ever imagine possible. They make him feel real, like this life is his, like maybe it's not wrong for him to want to be by their side.

He finds it easier to smile without it having to be fake; his laugh doesn't carry the heavy weight of his lies. The person he is now was forged from the bonds he formed with the people he traveled with, from the sacrifices they made for him and he for them, and from all they went and would still go through together. Little by little, the name Fai stops tasting bitter on his tongue, and even though he will never _(can never)_ forget his twin, it doesn't feel like he's living on something borrowed. This _is_ his own life, and he was never Yuui to the people who are part of it. He's Fai.

The next time he has to introduce himself, it doesn't feel like he's lying anymore.


	2. Prompt: Alternate Universes

"Are you nervous, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura kept her eyes closed, head tilted back as Fai applied the eyeshadow. He'd been talking to her ever since her hair and make up session started, working with gentle fingers and refusing to let her take a peek at the mirror before he was finished.

"You can tell, Fai-san?"

"A little, yeah", he said with a laugh, tapping her hand that was unconsciously gripping the arm of the chair. Sakura relaxed her fingers, feeling they tingle with the sudden rush of blood.

"Sorry", she said.

"It's okay. This is your first time working with such a big designer, right?"

"Yes."

"Being nervous is normal, then. But don't worry. We're all here to help you do your best. Besides", Fai added, "I think Tomoyo-chan would be happy even if you just stood there, motionless. She was pretty excited when you arrived."

Sakura had to agree with that last part. Earlier, she had barely entered the studio when she was greeted by a black-haired girl who all but dragged her inside and kept talking about how Sakura was so much prettier than in pictures and would look great wearing her clothes and how she was looking forward to working with her. Sakura had known that the owner of Piffle Princess, one of the most famous fashion brands of the country, was young, but she never expected Tomoyo to be so friendly.

"Tomoyo-chan is really nice", said Sakura, "I was really happy when I was called for the job. Her clothes are beautiful."

Fai hummed in agreement.

"And you," he said, finishing with the lipstick and pulling Sakura until she was sitting up again, "are going to look beautiful in them. Go on, you can look now."

Sakura opened her eyes and couldn't help but gasp. Her hair was loose as usual, but Fai had made it look messier, with a few strands curling up here and there. The make up was subtle except for the eyes, where Fai had worked with a mix of purple and gold colors to bring out the green. Her lips were a very light shade of pink, and her face looked more delicate than ever.

"Do you like it?"

She turned and beamed at him.

"Fai-san, I love it! Thank you!"

Fai smiled, glad to see she wasn't so nervous anymore.

"Let's call Tomoyo-chan and get you dressed for the first photos then, shall we?"

* * *

After countless compliments from Tomoyo, a blushing Sakura emerged from the dressing room, wearing destroyed jeans, ankle boots and a loose tank top with a flower pattern. There were two people in the studio who hadn't been there before, handling the light equipment; Sakura assumed they were responsible for the photography, and was proved right when Tomoyo finally introduced them.

"Sakura-chan, this is the photographer, Kurogane", the tall, dark-haired man gave a curt nod in her direction, "and his assistant, Syaoran-kun."

Syaoran looked like he was about the same age as her, with brown hair that went down to his shoulders. He stared at Sakura with his mouth hanging open, and she felt her cheeks heating up under his stare.

"Hm… Nice to meet you", she said, and that seemed to break him out of his trance. He blushed and averted his eyes, replying with a quick "Nice to meet you too" before leaning down to look for something in one of the bags.

Tomoyo looked between the two of them and exchanged a smile with Fai, who was shaking his head and laughing quietly behind Sakura.

"Kurogane, is everything ready?", asked Tomoyo, bringing Sakura's attention back to her.

"Yeah. We can get started."

Sakura went to stand in front of the white background, listening as Tomoyo explained what she wanted. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, determined to make the best of this chance they had given her. The scenario left only her body and her expressions to work with, but she didn't need more than that.

After the first flash, everything else slipped from Sakura's mind. There was only the lens pointing at her, the consciousness of every movement, every expression. Kurogane stayed quiet, unlike other photographers she'd worked with. He barely ever took his eyes away from the camera, but when he did his stare was fierce, like he was testing her, challenging her to show what she could do on her own. It only fueled her determination.

At the back of the studio, Tomoyo and Fai watched Sakura work, identical smiles on their faces.

"Just like you thought, Tomoyo-chan, she's amazing", said Fai.

"I told you, didn't I? When I saw her portfolio, I knew she'd be perfect! I can't wait to get her to model the dresses."

"Her looks certainly help, but… she's not intimidated by Kuro-min in the least, and you know how scary he can get when he's working."

Tomoyo nodded, her eyes never leaving Sakura.

"She has so much talent!"

Fai was present at every single Piffle Princess photoshoot, but he didn't remember ever seeing Tomoyo this excited. He could understand, though. Sakura seemed to fit in with their small crew in a way that other models Tomoyo hired never had. It made the job easier; Fai never disagreed with Tomoyo's preference to work only with them, trusted professionals and friends who'd been by her side since the start, but it could be hard sometimes, especially when it came to dealing with the models who weren't used to their methods.

His eyes fell on Syaoran, and he had to hold in a laugh. The boy was supposed to be holding the reflector according to Kurogane's instructions, but kept getting distracted by Sakura, and every once in a while Kurogane had to shout "Kid!" to get his attention back to the task at hand. Aside from that, however, the shoot was going smoothly, and soon it was time for Fai to get back to work and help Sakura get ready for her next look.

By the time they were done, it was almost nightfall. With one last photo, Kurogane got up from the place he had been crouched on the floor.

"I think this is enough", he said, and Sakura relaxed from her pose. Red eyes raised from the camera to look at her, but this time they were softer than before. "Good work."

There was a commotion, and Fai suddenly appeared behind Kurogane, hooking one arm behind the other's neck and pulling him down.

"Hyuu, Sakura-chan, you got Kuro-tan to compliment you! And Tomoyo-chan, look at this, Kuro-tan is smiling! Quick, someone take a picture!"

"Let go of me, idiot!", growled Kurogane, disentangling himself from Fai, and Sakura couldn't help but laugh a little. He didn't look at her again, but she could swear the tip of his ears were red.

"You were great, Sakura-chan", said Tomoyo, "And don't mind Kurogane. He might be grumpy, but he _really_ doesn't hand out compliments very often, so you should be proud."

"Who the hell is grumpy?", said Kurogane, but Tomoyo ignored him.

"That aside, I have something else to ask you. It might be a bit early, but I'm sure you'll be quite busy after we launch this collection's campaign, so I'd like to settle this matter now."

Sakura felt her heartbeat speed up.

"Yes?"

"I'd like you to keep being Piffle Princess' main face for our next campaigns."

Sakura felt all the eyes in the room turn to her at Tomoyo's announcement. She looked, stunned, at the girl in front of her, and then at the other three people in the room, all staring at her expectantly. She smiled, then, so wide that her cheeks hurt.

"I'd be honored to! Thank you, Tomoyo-chan, thank you so much!"

Sakura felt happiness swell inside of her as Tomoyo and Fai kept blabbering about how amazing it would be for them to work with her again. The latter even managed to drag Kurogane into the conversation, clinging tightly to his arm, and Sakura couldn't help but notice that Kurogane didn't try to pull away despite his complaints.

"C'mon, Kuro-tan, admit it! You're glad Sakura-chan will be working with us!"

Kurogane let out a huff, but nodded.

"She knows what she's doing, so it's fine by me, but I don't want the kid slacking off at his job again because he can't stop looking at her."

Syaoran, who had been standing quietly next to them, looked wide-eyed at Kurogane.

"K-Kurogane-san! Don't say that!"

"It's the truth."

"I, well… hum…", he risked a glance at Sakura, cheeks tinted red with embarassment.

Sakura laughed, and just like that the tension was broken; Syaoran offered a small smile, and she felt a warm sensation on her chest at the sight.

She didn't know how long they stood there, talking, but it was dark when she finally left the studio after promising Tomoyo they'd all meet up again, this time outside of work, soon. As she signaled to the closest taxi, she replayed Tomoyo's cheerfulness, Fai's kind words, Kurogane's silent encouragement, and Syaoran's smile in her head.

 _Maybe I found more than just a good job today_ , she thought.


	3. Prompt: KuroFai

It's in the way Kurogane threads his fingers through Fai's hair until he falls asleep, in the way he holds Fai when he wakes up shaking from a nightmare about his past. It's in the way Kurogane complains about Fai's sweet tooth but brings candy when he goes to buy food anyway, in the way he's come to cherish every one of Fai's nicknames for him, even if he wouldn't admit it. It's in the way _he_ uses Fai's name when they're alone.

It's in the way Fai traces patterns on Kurogane's skin with gentle fingers before falling asleep, in the way he can guess what Kurogane is thinking without a word. It's in the way Fai panics whenever Kurogane gets hurt, insisting on treating his injuries despite any refusals, in the way he can't take his eyes off Kurogane on the rare occasions when he smiles. It's in the way _he_ knows how to get Kurogane to smile.

It's in the way they kiss, be it slow and sweet or deep and passionate, in the way they hold each other close as they move together. It's in the way their voices mingle with hushed moans and in the way they lay in bed afterwards, limbs tangled and breaths slowly coming back to normal.

It's in all they ever sacrificed for each other and all they would sacrifice again.

They never say the words _"I love you"._ They don't have to.


	4. Prompt: Body Swap

Kurogane thought that, after Outo, he'd be able to make sure the kids never got near alcohol again. However, he'd underestimated Mokona and her ability to spike drinks unnoticed.

One glass was enough to get Sakura and Syaoran really, _really_ drunk. It seemed that magic wasn't the only thing different about this world; their sake, too, had a stronger and faster effect. Even Kurogane, who usually wasn't affected so easily, felt his head a bit fuzzy, and Fai didn't seem much better than the kids (and Kurogane was pretty sure he wasn't pretending this time).

He could already feel a headache coming, having spent the last half an hour trying to get them all to stop running around and go to bed. He was tired and a little drunk, so he couldn't blame himself if he didn't notice Syaoran rummaging through a few of the magic books they'd gotten earlier until it was too late.

When Kurogane opened his mouth to tell the kid it wasn't time to mess with dangerous stuff, everything went black.

* * *

The first thing Kurogane noticed when he came back to his senses was that his body felt weird. His movements were clumsy, limbs not responding the way they should, and when he opened his eyes, it was obvious that something was _very_ wrong.

Everything in the room seemed bigger, as if he were looking at it from a lower perspective. He could see Fai, Sakura and Syaoran - the latter still with a book in his hands - slowly getting up from the ground, towering over him with confused looks on their faces… and then another person came into his line of vision.

Himself.

"What the hell?"

To Kurogane's horror, his voice rang thin and loud in his ears; it wasn't his voice at all. It was Mokona's.

 _Oh no._

All eyes turned to him and for a moment they all stood in silence, until Sakura burst out laughing.

"Kuro-rin is Mokona! And Mokona isn't - hic - Mokona anymore!", she said, "Mokona feels funny!"

The reality of what happened dawned on them.

"The book I was reading…", said Syaoran from Kurogane's body. "Does that mean…"

"…we've swapped bodies, yeah", Kurogane completed, but the kid didn't seem to hear him.

"…I can practice with Souhi?", he continued, an excited look on his face.

" _What?_ "

"Mokona - no, I'm sorry, Kurogane-san - can you bring Souhi out?"

"Are you insane, kid? Even if I knew how to do that-"

"Mokona will teach you! You just open your mouth reeeeeally wide…", Mokona began, trying to demonstrate.

"I said no already!", Kurogane growled, but the menacing tone was ruined in Mokona's voice.

"Please, Kurogane-san…"

"Kuro-pon is - hic - mean!", Mokona complained, stumbling towards Fai - or, at least, Fai's body. "Are you Fai?"

The person shook their head.

"It's me, Moko-chan", said Sakura.

"Sakura is Big Kitty!", yelled Mokona, throwing her arms around Sakura's waist in a hug. The sudden movement, combined with two very drunk bodies with no sense of balance, sent them tumbling to the ground. "This time Mokona can be Little Kitty! Meow!"

Sakura giggled - it was so strange hearing it in Fai's voice, Kurogane thought - and started meowing back.

 _Well,_ that _isn't much different from the mage._

" _Shouryuusen!_ Is this right, Kurogane-san?"

Kurogane ignored the kid and turned towards the only one who had been quiet until then. Fai had a lazy smile on his face, the magic book still held tightly in his hands. Kurogane jumped until he was standing on the desk by his side, extending one of his paws towards the book.

"Give me that, mage."

Fai looked down, then, and quickly raised the book above his head and out of Kurogane's reach.

"Kuro-sama is so tiny!", he said with a sing-song voice that didn't match Syaoran's usual tone at all.

"Idiot, stop playing around! Give me that book so that we can go back to normal."

"Waaah, Kuro-rin, but this is fun!", said Fai, dodging Kurogane's jumps even as he swayed a little on his feet.

"Mage, I don't care if you're drunk or in the kid's body, I'm going to kill you if you don't hand me that book."

"And how are you going to kill me, Kuro-small?"

"Mage…"

"Fai-san! Fai-san, can you turn into a cat with your magic?", asked Sakura from across the room, where she was still sitting on the floor.

"You'd really be Big Kitty then! Meow!", said Mokona.

"Maybe I can try it! Meow!"

Kurogane saw Fai freeze for a moment, eyes going wide before he dropped the magic book - Kurogane had to quickly jump to the side as to not be crushed by it - and rushed to where Sakura was waving her hands in the air, apparently trying to get magic to come out.

"Sakura-chan, this is not a good idea… You don't know how my magic works…"

" _Now_ he sobers up", mumbled Kurogane, turning the pages of the fallen book to look for a way to reverse the spell before any of those drunk idiots hurt themselves.

 _Just my luck that_ I'm _the only one in a sober body having to deal with this shit_ , Kurogane thought.

He was _definitely_ never letting them get near alcohol again.


	5. Prompt: Fluff

"Kuro-pon? Where are we going?", asked Fai. He'd been trying to get an explanation ever since Kurogane had dragged him out of bed this morning, before the sun had even risen, and told him to get dressed because they were going outside.

There was no answer. Fai sighed, quickening his pace to match Kurogane's as they made their way around Shirasagi castle. Finally, when they were out of sight from the guards, Kurogane stopped. Fai looked around, but the place didn't seem any different from any other part of the castle, and he was about to ask _again_ where they were going when he heard a noise. Turning his attention back to Kurogane, he found the ninja no longer at his side, but standing on top of the lower roof.

"Don't just stand there, mage", he said, extending a hand.

Fai could've gotten there without help, but he took Kurogane's hand anyway. They quickly made their way from one roof to another, and Fai could feel his curiosity growing the more they climbed.

They only stopped after reaching the highest point of the castle.

"Well, Kuro-rin, are you going to explain what we're doing on the roof while it's still dark?"

"You really have no patience, do you?", Kurogane mumbled, sitting and motioning for Fai to do the same, "Just wait a bit more and you'll see, mage."

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to get an answer, Fai resigned himself to waiting, pulling Kurogane's arm around him so he could recline comfortably against his chest. Kurogane scoffed, but didn't move from the position, and Fai smiled. They stayed like that for a while, until the darkness was broken by the first rays of sunlight. When they illuminated the view in front of them, Fai gasped.

From where they were, they could see everything that surrounded the castle being slowly revealed by the sunlight - the trees, the wide fields of grass, the houses a bit further ahead. There was something whimsical about seeing it from so far up, the soft light giving everything a yellowish glow.

"It's beautiful", Fai whispered. He turned to look at Kurogane, who quickly averted his eyes so Fai wouldn't notice he had been staring.

"Well, you were bothering me all week saying you wanted to see more of Nihon", he mumbled, refusing to meet Fai's eyes.

Fai laughed, turning around and reaching to pull Kurogane's face towards his.

"Thank you, Kuro-sama", he said, and Kurogane could feel the smile on Fai's lips when he kissed him, slow and soft. Kurogane held him closer, and they stayed like that even after the kiss ended, with Fai's forehead pressed against Kurogane's and the morning light warm on their skin.

"We can come here again tomorrow, if you want", said Kurogane, and it was only because Fai knew him well that he noticed the corner of his lips turned up in an almost imperceptible smile.

"Yeah, I'd like that."


	6. Prompt: Angst

**Warning: Major Character Death.**

* * *

The only sound Fai can hear are the dead leaves crunching under his feet as he walks through the cemetery. It's early, barely dawn yet, so there is no one to see him when he stops and kneels on the ground, mindless of the dew soaking his clothes, and raises his eyes to the headstone in front of him.

"Hello, Kuro-sama", he says, the ghost of a smile on his lips. "I'm here earlier than usual today, I know. Tomoyo-chan wanted to come, but she hasn't been feeling well lately, so she wasn't able to get out of bed. But she'll find a way to come later, I'm sure. You know Tomoyo-chan, she never gives up on something when she wants it, does she?"

A laugh escapes through Fai's lips, but it is strained, humorless.

"She said I could still stay in the castle, after she… when she's no longer here. But I don't think I can, Kuro-sama", he says, hands closing into fists, "I stayed until now because she asked me. But it's been ten years."

Fai can feel his eyes burning, so he closes them to keep the tears at bay.

"Ten years, and I'm still not used to waking up alone, Kuro-sama", his voice trembles at the name. "It's the same hallways, the same rooms, but you're not there. And you know what the worst part is? It's when I look in the mirror, Kuro-sama. When I look in the mirror and see that I've barely aged compared to everyone else around me, even after ten _fucking_ years."

Fai breaks, then, a sob tearing thorugh his throat as the tears slide hot on his cheeks. His back hunches forward, hands gripping his elbows as he tries to hold himself up.

"It's so lonely, Kuro-sama", he manages to say. "I don't even know how many years I'm still going to live. But I can't do this anymore, not if I stay in the castle, Kuro-sama, I…"

His sobs cut through his words, and for a while Fai stays like that, until his throat aches and his eyes are dry again.

"I'll find a house near the village", he says, "It'll still be close. I can still come here every day", he extends his hand, lightly tracing the name carved on stone. "I know you'd be mad at me. Maybe you'd say I should stop with the self-pity. But I miss you too much for that, Kuro-sama."

Fai gets up, turning to look at the sun slowly rising above the horizon.

"It's still beautiful, you know. Watching the dawn from the roof", he whispers, almost as if he were talking to himself. "But it's not the same without you, Kuro-sama."

He takes one last look at Kurogane's resting place before turning around, walking back towards the castle. Tomorrow, he'll be here again, and every day after that, talking to someone who can't hear him anymore until his magic prolonged life finally ends.

 _I truly am an idiot, ne, Kuro-sama?_


	7. Prompt: Look to the Future&Happy Endings

_1_

Before the beginning, there is an ending.

It comes after a long time and it's made of blood and pain and tears but also of laughter and love and happiness. For all of them, it's hard to grasp the fact that the journey is finally over, and that fate allowed them all to be there to see it end.

Those who lost, and those who were lost, together once again.

 _2_

Before the beginning, there is a wish.

It comes with a price, because one cannot be fulfilled without the other. This wish, however, is not born from desperation or suffering or death, but from friendship and love. Each one of them pays their share of the price with a smile.

Syaoran, Sakura - both the originals and the clones -, Fai, and Kurogane.

 _3_

After that, comes the beginning.

It's made of farewells, but also of hope. They part once again, Fai and Kurogane going to Nihon, Syaoran and Sakura to Clow, and the clones staying behind to live in the shop with the Mokonas and Watanuki. It's sad, but not as much as their last goodbye, because they made a wish.

And, in a year's time, they meet again at Watanuki's shop.

It's a day of smiles and hugs and shared stories. Someone brings out a bottle of sake, and Watanuki cooks for all of them. The Mokonas are jumping from shoulder to shoulder, Kurogane is yelling at them ( _one pork bun was bad enough already!_ ), Fai is telling the kids about Nihon, and it's everything they wished for.

The time for goodbyes comes again, but even that is not enough to burst the bubble of happiness that encases their small, strange family.

After all, they know they'll meet again next year.


End file.
